[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

[[今気づいました]]

while listening to my all new fave song by Ono Yuuki as his character in 黒子のバスケ, and at the same time starting to feel stress from er, sian-ness and i-don't-know-what, aft posting a msg "a chocolate a day keeps the (mental) doctor away... but i think i might have to increase the number of chocolates... >_<", i realised i myself might be the one who's the root of my mental state...

every time i feel stress, sad or well, juz negative, i always listen to songs tt would cheer me up and make me smile unknowingly.. and today when i did that, i felt like i was going mental.. juz a few seconds ago the stress was getting to me, and the next second i was smiling to myself like an idiot because the song was really nice... and when tt happened, i remembered that i shouldn't be smiling cuz i was feeling stressed, and the stressed feeling came back..

so the end result was a me who was feeling really frustrated on the inside, yet i was smiling on the outside.. it might sound kinda normal - ppl could pass it off as a way of hiding emotions, but i dun have the need to hide my emotions when i'm at home in front of the computer, with notes piled in front of me...

at that moment, i really felt like my head was splitting.. did i want to feel frustrated and stressed? or did i want to smile and enjoy the song? maybe i'll end up having split personality instead of going insane.. lol~

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]] *|00:33|